Klutz

 
Whether it is because of our intelligence or whether it is our stupidity, we are always putting other people down. Now, more than ever, we do it behind their backs. When was the last time you had a good old quarrel face to face with an adversary adding a few snipes here and there? Maybe it can be heard in India or Italy or maybe even in the heart of old cockney London but in polite society the emotional charge would get everyone a little off balance. When husbands and wives start to yell at each other, their marriages might end right there and then. We have become too sensitive, perhaps, to bad reviews about ourselves. In turn, because people no longer speak their minds, we have also become more uncertain about the quality of our own characters. Paradoxically the dictates of facile politeness create the feeling that transgression might be the only means of reclaiming the 'true' self. So the price of private loathing seems to be, in the end, the harm done to ourselves.

Envy we know is a terrible thing. Errors are made while driving. Some people are plainly selfish. Should people be told that they are jealous, incapable and unreasonable? If so, by whom? I remember as a small kid in Korea, that my group of friends was fairly frank. We hurled insults frequently and laughed at each other's shortcoming. This was part of a natural banter and perhaps because we were poor, we felt the freedom to be uncouth. Friendship wasn't something cosy, it was about knowing rather more than judging. We stuck together simply because we happened to be part of the same world; the village. The bond was to do with the value of their presence in that world rather more than just liking them. In those days we didn't get soppy, so the caring part wasn't intentional, it was sort of organic.

I've always felt a bit of a fool all my life. Physically a bit limp and mentally too delicate, my career has not unfolded brilliantly. I'm living a very ordinary life. Since I wanted to succeed but I haven't (yet), I put it down to inborn flaws. I talk too much for someone who hasn't done his homework and I try too hard to impress people. In short, I feel a klutz. I make this admission in the hope that it might open up certain philosophical possibilities, if not better business opportunities.

I prefer 'klutz' to 'jerk' while 'nerd' is pretty harsh. The Aussies, always very literal, will probably call you a stupid bastard while the Brits have taken to calling everyone a tosser. Do jerks and nerds really exist? Well, in someone's imagination they must, otherwise the words wouldn't exist. That someone's life could actually be so conditioned by folly is a worrying thought, although, given all the cash made from the modern real estate industry, folly appears to be good for the markers of economic growth.

Blandness is sweeping across the world from the desolate plazas of Brasilia to the endless boulevards of the American midwest; from the Antipodean mining towns to the 'air conditioned cubicles'* of Asia; from the slick havens in the Mauritius to the grimy alleys of European peripheries. Those responsible for these 'carbuncles' as Prince Charles would put it, what can we call them? If we call them names, what will they call us in return? You see guys, it is kind of rough out there. The debate has to get tough, perforce, so our towns may breath again in delight, by the sheer force of traditional bluntness.